Casual Thoughtfulness!

The more I want to be like water, the more I analyze its character as well as the adversities it hides in itself. So far I was focussing on the exceptionalities. The calmness, the resilience and the adaptiveness. I have been envisioning to imbibe all of these for a while now. These are pecularities you need, to survive on without being afflicted or hurt. Yet, it is hard to be so flowy and accommodating, you will always be hit by hurdles.  Somethings will always try to stop you. Yet when you choose to flow, you shall. When you flow, you put all yourself in. Then there is no baggage behind. You believe to gather yourself and go along all the time. But when you decide a life like that, in real world scenario, you shall only abide by yourself and be prepared to be dispossessed by most people to meet new ones and keep flowing. You shall hurt them and hurt yourself in this process. There will be attachments and heart breaks.  Just as you touch water, you feel cool, you fee...

Once I lived with a song.. The song had a beautiful smile.. The song had a nested soul.. The song believed in itself.. Once I lived with a song.. Everymorning it hummed in my ears.. Every evening it sang to me to sleep.. Every now and then it helped me live.. Once I lived with a song.. The song had a dark side.. The song had forbidden brink.. The song was sad.. Once I lived with a song.. It once woke up choking.. It was entrapped inside its own fright.. It meant to break the walls of steel.. Once I lived with a song.. Its sufferings became unbearable.. It was time for it to forget it all.. It was time for it to end.. Once I lived with a song.. I couldnt see its plight.. I couldnt help it either.. I watched it die till the end.. Once I lived with a song.. The song looked at me for help.. The song couldn't figure out how.. The song needed a friend.. Once I lived with a friend.. My friend needed a guide.. My...

“In the long run, what matters is how much you are centered within.” I, like I always do, “wonder”, and this time I tried to look a few notches deeper into my own self to discover the existential importance of my alter ego. And I realized that it’s not just important to me rather it is my true self in the hiding. The thin line between sanity and insanity is what all this defines.  Having read a few more books on philosophy and existence, including the mythological dramas from around the world, it stuck me how everything is so relatable and inevitable. The energies – yin and yang, positive and negative, dark and light, good and bad; why does everything exist in two parts?  I always like to connect dots in my life; I certainly am a firm believer of destiny, a path that you choose to walk on. Talking of dyad, my constructive soul as well has two parts. Talking about them, I realized how destructive my alter ego can be and how it sometimes overpowers my sane self. It cou...

Age is really not just a number. The more I begin to realize my own age, the more I start to look back at my life just to find how immobile it has been. For once I am afraid. I am afraid that I am in the middle of nowhere; I am neither too old nor too young. I am not 25 now, not even close. I really don’t care about the freckles and the gray. But yes they have started to show off late. Criteria of being over 30 crisis is even worse than what I felt when I started dealing with my mid life crisis. I can really relate to my older generation in so many ways that once I used to rebel on. I have certainly made peace with myself. My being a maverick to the responsible one has been quite a hard-hitting truth. I no longer have the strength to climb up the mountain; well to be honest I never had that even when I was 5. I may be overthinking on some stuff but the truth prevails. You cannot look at life the way you did 5 years back. You cannot juggle between those years and escape. The s...

Because I am a mother and because it is a very child centric profession, I have my blues to sing and yellows to dance on. It is such a 1-2-1 (as in b2b) work ethic that I am always focused on the things that she does and how I react and vice versa. Care the least of her association with others including the father. Although it does concern me how my product will behave and show social emotions to the rest of her kin and kinds. A constant debate is what goes on in the head to clarify all her actions starting with the way she sleeps, to brushing her teeth and to finish the food that is packed in her lunch box. Near or far, your one eye, one ear, one heart, one mind, one kidney, one liver, one stomach is always busy catering to her . If there are longer pauses of silence the ear will not resist checking on what’s cooking. The eye sees the unbelievable mess and the heart absorbs the catastrophe with patience. A part of the mind tries to engage her in something productive...

Incredible moments come into your life at unprecedented times. Such was this event of my life when I shared my room and my life with a little girl of about 4 years. It was not the relationship of a mother and daughter but that of students, of roommates and friends. Although, we could not neglect the blood bindings that we shared, especially when we went out socially and occasionally. The larger part of it was spent as two sensible people sharing the same roof. Here is my version of the six months I spent with my 4 year old as my best friends. I would like to call her as my ideal roommate I could ever live with. She portrayed a little too sensible for her age. The checklist for the roomie was all ticked, she was neat and tidy in her own, and she helped in the kitchen with the dishes and laundry. Most importantly, she had some great bathroom etiquettes. She had been my perfect partner in crime to watch those late night movies over the weekend with ice creams, popcorns and...

Life can’t be more stressful than what it is right now.   Anyway, having spent a couple of months all by myself, I have some huge confessions to make. The biggest I believe is, your life is what you choose it to be. Nobody likes to invite troubles and there are some fools who walk into them. Whilst, revelations evolved, realizations followed and I am a changed man altogether. These were times of true test of strengths and capabilities. If I could hold on to myself without reaching that level of insanity, I would be safe enough to be exposed to the society. And well, to my surprise I nailed it. Just to clarify, my insanity levels fell short of a few clicks resuming me back to that sane category. No matter how crazy I may have been, I continue to be a social animal. A sigh or relief – I care the least. Speaking of which, I rather like to talk less now. The blabber in me has some how gone lazy. A realization - I don’t always have to put my thoughts across. It is okay to gi...